


Unlikely Duos

by kindness_to_the_rejects



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Ani who?, Except Ani, Fluff, Friendship, Funny, Gen, The gang hanging out, all of them together - Freeform, light - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:01:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22108270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kindness_to_the_rejects/pseuds/kindness_to_the_rejects
Summary: "It started with Wicked." Or, the gang starts playing a game behind Clay and Justin's backs.
Relationships: All the Friends - Relationship, Justin Foley & Clay Jensen
Comments: 5
Kudos: 130





	Unlikely Duos

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, the newest season came out like four months ago and I'm just now writing fanfic? *shrug emoji, shrug emoji, shrug emoji*

It started with _Wicked._

Jessica was sitting at lunch with the rest of the gang - or most of them - on a Monday afternoon. Over the weekend, she had seen _Wicked_ with her mother and grandparents in San Francisco and she was thinking about the musical as she glanced idly around the cafeteria. Alex and Zach were talking about physical therapy across from her. Tyler was eating his sandwich while he examined some photographs from his latest project and Sheri, back from her semester away with her family abroad, was just sitting down with her tray when Jessica blurted:

“Oh my god, guys.” She was already laughing a little.

Everyone looked at her expectantly.

“If Clay and Justin were in Wicked, which one would be Elphaba and which one would be Glinda?”

She nodded towards the part of the cafeteria where Clay and Justin were standing together in the ala carte line. They always did the same thing for lunch - packed on the same days, ate the main lunch on the same days, and chose ala carte together. Mostly because they had the same exact food at home to choose from and the same monthly lunch money fund Mr. and Mrs. Jensen filled for them to share.

Zach furrowed his brow at Jessica’s question. “What?”

“You know, if they each, like, took a personality test for it, which character would they get?” She rolled her eyes at Zach’s stumped look and said, “I was just thinking about the musical and how the main characters are an unlikely duo and then I saw our own little unlikely duo over there, and it got me thinking, that’s all.”

“I think Clay would be Elphaba,” said Sheri decisively. She was glancing at the boys over her shoulder, as they ordered their food. “And Justin would be Glinda.”

“But Glinda’s so spoiled and like, privileged,” Tyler interjected.

“Yeah, and Justin literally comes from a crack house,” said Alex wryly.

“Okay, not nice,” Sheri said, giving him a look. “I actually think he’s most like Glinda because she’s optimistic and social, and so is he.”

“Plus, she’s popular,” said Zach thoughtfully. “I mean, there’s a whole song about it. And Justin is kinda more popular than Clay.”

Jessica raised her eyebrows at him in surprise, and he ducked his head and poked at his mashed potatoes on his plate.

“What? I know musicals,” he mumbled.

“Also,” Sheri said, waving her fork around a little as she talked, “Elphaba went through a transformation where first she was a dedicated student who then broke a ton of rules and told everyone to eff off, and that is one thousand percent Clay.”

“That’s so true!” Jessica grinned at her. “Okay, it’s been decided. Clay is Elphaba and Justin is Glinda.” She slapped her hand on the table for emphasis.

“Didn’t know this was such a big decision, but okay,” Alex muttered.

“What decision?” asked Justin. He dropped into the empty seat next to Jessica as Clay took the seat across from him next to Tyler. Justin had gotten the greasy, horrible-for-you, cheese-stuffed breadsticks that were at ala carte every Monday. Clay had a turkey sandwich and a bag of hot Cheetos.

“Oh nothing,” Jessica said. “We just decided that you’re the good witch and Clay is the green, misunderstood witch.”

“Um...what?” Justin gave her a look like she was insane. Across the table, Clay wasn’t listening, instead looking with interest at a couple of Tyler’s photos.

“Nothing,” Jessica said again, and Justin turned his attention to trying to steal a couple of Clay’s Cheetos. Clay moved the bag away without even looking up.

…

After that, it became a thing.

“I know another unlikely duo,” Tyler said, out of the blue at study hall, two days after the Wicked decision. It was just him, Jessica, and Alex.

Jess looked up from her U.S. History essay. “What?”

“For...Justin and Clay?” Tyler said. He fiddled with his pencil. “I’ve been watching _Stranger Things_ lately, and Dustin and Steve are like, an unlikely duo that work really well together.”

“Ohhhh, yeah,” she said, leaning back in her chair. “I’ve only seen the first couple episodes. I only know about that duo from Twitter and stuff, but I like them.”

“Oh,” Tyler said, looking a little disappointed. “You should watch the rest of it, it’s really good.”

“Justin is Steve,” said Alex, not even bothering to look up from his Anatomy textbook. “Because he’s a douche jock who got nicer and now everyone freaking loves him. And Dustin went to science camp, so like, enough said.”

…

“Oh my god, Jessica, I’ve got such a good one.”

“Spill.”

“Meredith Grey and Cristina Yang.”

“Ooooh, that’s hard! I mean – Clay’s the obvious Cristina.”

“Right.”

“But, he’s got more heart than Cristina, ya know? Like, he’s smart and all, but she can be pretty rude.”

“I mean – Clay can be rude.”

“Well. True.”

“Obviously Justin’s not Cristina.”

“No…maybe neither of them are Cristina? Oh, oh I’ve got a great one!”

“What?”

“Clay is Meredith and Justin is Lexi, Meredith’s real sister!”

“Oh…oh yeah, that’s good.”

…

“Sherlock Holmes and Watson?”

“Isn’t that one stupid obvious?”

“Yeah…you’re right.”

“…I would like to see Justin in that Sherlock Holmes hat though.”

(Everyone laughs as Sheri nearly shoves Jessica off the lunch table bench.)

…

Zach waved his sandwich around enthuisiastically. Tony watched him warily, edging his Tupperware of fried rice closer. Almost everyone was there except, of course, Justin and Clay, who had dentist appointments, so got to leave school for a while.

(“Aww, you guys do everything together,” Jessica had teased. “Even dentist appointments. It’s so cute.”

“Shut up,” Justin said, rolling his eyes and shoving his jacket into his bookbag.

“Does Clay hold your hand when you need to get your cavity filled?”

“Is that supposed to be a euphemism?”

“Wow, good English class word there.”

“You can’t be around Clay 24/7 without it rubbing off on you.”)

“I’ve got a great one – Frank and Joe Hardy,” Zach said.

Jessica looked at him blankly. “Who?”

“ _The Hardy Boys,_ ” Alex said, shaking his head and poking at his cold cafeteria spaghetti. “Zach’s, like, obsessed with those books.”

“I am not!” Zach said, though he was starting to blush. “I liked them as a kid, that’s all.”

“Okay,” Alex said. “Then tell me why last time I was at your house, May told you that she’d finally gotten _Hardy Boys Adventures: Dungeons and Detectives_ ” (he used finger quotes around this) “for you from the library.”

Zach flushed deeper. “So me and my kid sister still read _The Hardy Boys_ together, fucking sue me,” he muttered.

“Aw, Zacky,” Sheri said, patting his arm. “I think that’s adorable. Even if I am more of a _Nancy Drew_ girl myself.”

“Back to the issue at hand,” Jessica said. “Which do you think Justin is, Zach? Joe, or…Fred?”

“It’s Frank,” he muttered. “And I’m leaning more towards him being Joe, myself.”

Silence.

“Well,” Tony said. “Since you’re the only one who literally knows anything about _The Hardy Boys,_ guess we’ll take your word for it.”

Jess pulled out her phone with a ceremonial flourish and opened her Notes app. She was keeping a running tally.

"Joe Hardy" she typed under JUSTIN. "Frank Hardy" went under the CLAY column.

“I have no idea what we’re going to do with this information,” she said, looking over the lists. “But for some reason, it’s still really satisfying to have.”

…

They broke form once in a while.

The Jonas brothers, Zach texted out of the blue one day. They had made a group chat that had everyone except Clay and Justin in it, for this express purpose.

Jessica: That’s not a duo Zach!

Tony: Yea even I know there are three Jonas brothers

Zach: Who cares?? They’re brothers aren’t they? We’ll just leave one out

Sheri: Hmm…I say Justin is Joe. Funny, charming

Jessica: Super hot

Tony: Gross

Jessica: Jk jk, but I agree w Sheri

Tyler: And Clay?

Alex: Nick

Jessica: Alex what do you know about the Jonas brothers??

Alex: I watched the documentary w my mom and I say Nick

Sheri: I second

Zach: I third

Jessica: What about Kevin???

Alex: *shrug emoji*

Sheri: Poor Kevin ☹

…

From Jessica’s Notes App:

 **JUSTIN**  
Glinda the Good Witch  
Steve Harrington  
Lexie Gray  
John Watson  
Anna  
Dean Winchester  
Thor  
Amy Poehler  
Buzz Lightyear  
Shawn Spencer  
Samwise Gamgee  
Joe Hardy  
Joe Jonas

 **CLAY**  
Elphaba  
Dustin Harrington  
Meredith Gray  
Sherlock Holmes  
Elsa  
Sam Winchester  
Loki  
Tina Fey  
Woody  
Burton Guster “Gus”  
Frodo Baggins  
Frank Hardy  
Nick Jonas

…

It was only a matter of time before they got caught. It happened during a particularly heated debate.

“There’s no WAY that either one of them is Chewbacca,” said Tony. “We don’t know fuck all about Chewbacca, he’s just a seven-foot tall Bigfoot, that’s not a character!”

“Wookie,” Tyler muttered.

“Well, Justin has to be Han Solo,” Sheri said. “I don’t mean anything mean by it, but the truth is, Clay could never.”

“Yes, Justin can be Han Solo, sure whatever, but Clay can’t be Chewbacca!” Jessica said. “Chewie never talks, and we all know you can’t get Clay to freaking shut up when he’s made up his mind about something!”

“Uh,” Clay looked around at all of them suspiciously as he dropped his lunch tray down next to Jessica’s. “Thanks? Also, what the hell are we talking about?”

“Clay! Justin!” Jessica looked up at them in shock. “I thought you two were out today until after lunch!”

“What about Han Solo?” Justin asked, plopping down next to Clay. He had a fry already in his mouth when he asked, “Are we having a costume party or something?”

“Are you guys going to the midnight showing of Rise of Skywalker with me and Tyler after all?” Clay looked around at them excitedly for a split second, and then immediately became more suspicious. “No, that can’t be right.”

“That is not right,” Tony said, pointing his own fry at Clay. It was burgers and fries day – the one day no one packed, except Jessica, who had gone vegetarian. “I’m not staying up till three a.m. for that shit. I’ll wait for you to inevitably buy it on DVD.”

“Then what are you talking about?” Justin asked, looking around at his friends.

There was silence while everyone tried to avoid his and Clay’s eyes.

“What?” Clay asked. “Just tell us.”

“Yeah, it can’t be that deep if it has something to do with Chewbacca,” Justin said.

Jessica looked around at her friends and rolled her eyes. “Oh my god, this friend group has literal secrets about murder, and we can’t handle this one?” She took out her phone and handed it to Clay. “We’ve been doing this, for, like, a month now.”

Clay held up the phone for Justin to see too and for about ten seconds, the two of them squinted at the screen, looking deeply confused.

“What am I looking at,” said Justin.

“Why do they match up?” Clay asked. “Like Elphaba goes with Glinda and Steve goes with Dustin…Ohhhh.”

“Who the fuck is Lexie Grey?” Justin asked.

“I’m Gus?!” Clay asked. “I don’t think I agree with that –“

“He’s a spelling bee trivia freak,” Alex interjected.

“You win the sixth grade state spelling bee one time and no one lets you forget it,” Clay mutters.

“Wait, these are us?” Justin asked, gesturing between the phone and himself and Clay.

“Yes,” Clay said, handing Jessica her phone.

“I’m not Samwise Gamgee!” Justin said furiously, snatching the phone back and looking back at his list. “I’m fucking Aragorn!”

“Aragorn’s not in a duo, dude,” Zach said wisely. “We’ve been trying to stick with duos.”

“Why have you been doing this?” Clay asked.

“Fun, maybe you’ve heard of it,” Jessica said archly, snatching her phone back from Justin.

“I agree with Thor!” Justin said, pointing at her. “And Joe Jonas, that guy’s fucking hot.”

“What did you think of being Buzz Lightyear? That one was tricky,” Sheri asked him.

“I dunno, I’ve never seen Toy Story,” Justin shrugged.

“WHAT?!”

“I haven’t seen like, most kids’ movies. My mom would only let us watch her shit, when we had a TV,” Justin said shrugging. At their bewildered looks, he said, “Hey newsflash, everyone – I come from a deeply troubled home.”

“Anyway,” Clay said pointedly. “Why is this some huge secret? You said you’d been doing this for an entire month?”

“I guess it was more fun to talk about you behind your backs?” Zach said, shrugging.

“Once we got started, we just rolled with it,” Jessica said, nodding.

“Okay, seems troubling, but okay,” Clay said. “Also, why’d you stop with just us two? Why not do it for like, the whole group?”

“What do you mean?” Tyler asked.

“I mean, some of these duos come with like, a huge group of other characters you could have done. Like,” he pointed at himself and Justin. “Steve and Dustin for Stranger Things, sure. But also Jonathan, Nancy, Joyce, Lucas, Bob, and Mike too, am I right?” He pointed at Tyler, Jessica, Sheri, Tony, Zach, and Alex respectively as he said this.

There was a pause as everyone let this sink in.

“Bob? The guy who gets eaten? Thanks, Jensen – “

“Ooh yeah, I am Nancy! And Tyler is a total Jonathan – I mean they’re both photographers and everything.”

“Joyce? Did you just give me one of the only female characters after Nancy? Because I’m definitely Eleven, if that’s the case – “

Clay looked over at Justin, who shrugged.

“Think we should tell them the adoption was this morning?” Justin asked, hooking a finger under his tie to loosen it. Both he and Clay were dressed up, because they’d been at court in the morning. None of their friends had yet to notice their ties and dress pants.

“Up to you, but I’m kind of enjoying this,” Clay said, eating another fry and watching Tony make his case for being the Chief Hopper of their group instead.

“Yeah, guess we can tell them later, Frodo-Loki-Sherlock-Holmes-Elsa-Whatever-the-fuck,” said Justin.

“If I’m Frodo-Loki-Sherlock-Holmes-Elsa Jensen, then you’re officially Sam-Thor-Watson-Anna Foley-Jensen. Mom and Dad should have gotten that on the birth certificate.”

Justin snorted with laughter, and almost spewed ketchup off his tray. When their friends paused their talking to ask what was funny, he couldn’t stop laughing long enough to tell them.

**Author's Note:**

> I left out Ani and brought back Sheri, as the show should have done. There, I said it!
> 
> Also, thank you for reading!


End file.
